I got about 12 episodes into this podcast before I had to admit the approach to this topic wasn’t heading in the right direction. I started to skip ahead to to gauge the tone of later episodes. I also read op-eds and academic papers Naama had written or coauthored. To contextualize my opinions, I have a PhD in criminology and spent many years in public polling focusing on US opinions of the news, politics and technology. Setting aside for the moment any moral judgement on the merits of the incel perspective, Naama’s approach is blatantly contradictory. For example she repeatedly claims incels are not a terrorist organization or radicalizing influence, but then justifies platforming and hearing out figureheads in the name of keeping channels of communication open so they will cooperate with authorities if/when their members start to escalate to threats of violence. She also repeatedly dismisses inflammatory themes and comments in incel forums as “ironic or absurd” talk to scare off normies and says it is a healthy way to blow off steam despite experts she interviews saying that participating in these online in-groups and refusing professional mental health support further isolates and makes these men more prone to depression and hopelessness. She also cherry picks events and details from real people’s lives to encourage empathy. For example listen to the episode detailing the life and escalation of violence of ER - where she basically acts like he wasn’t part of the formal incel community - and then go read the Wikipedia page and cited articles on this topic. She doesn’t acknowledge that ER was influenced and emboldened by incel ideology and how pervasive and revered his legacy still is in incel forums. From a journalistic standpoint, she repeatedly takes the words of incel figureheads at face value saying they do a good job managing their forums and handling issues in good faith. She doesn’t even contemplate the possibility that, at best, these sources may be the most palatable elements within the incel community, and at worst, could be taking her for a ride, feeding her sob stories and watered down opinions in order to introduce a broader audience to their ideology. This is a common tactic used by cults, conspiracy theorists and criminal groups: introduce prospective members to inoffensive and seemingly reasonable ideas and “facts” to lure them into more extreme thinking. From an academic standpoint, the paper Naama coauthored called “Predictors of Radical Intentions among Incels: A Survey of 54 Self-identified Incels”, uses the laughable methodology of surveying 54 incels who have been guests on this podcast and doesn’t even have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge in the research limitations section that, beyond being a self-selecting sample that is not generalizable to the entire population, there is a high risk of DESIRABILITY BIAS! Because the study participants have full awareness of the analysis plan for the survey and have a stated agenda of disseminating and legitimizing their ideology, they are incentivized to downplay “radical intentions”. Naama also has the audacity to say that research she disagrees with is methodologically “sloppy” and “decontextualized”. So let’s talk about the context. Naama makes no effort to contextualize the statistical realities of the perceived grievances incels build their world views around. It is not true that men historically have had it just as bad, if not worse, than women. It is not true that men have fewer rights and privileges in society. It is not true that feminism has ruined men’s ability to have fulfilling lives. It is not true that women use men, sleep around and get “used up” (how can they be both the user and the usee? Unclear) before settling down with a beta male. Naama lets her guests JUST SAY FALSE OR MISLEADING TRASH and doesn’t factcheck their statements in the moment nor provide context and set the record straight later in the episode. She also doesn’t acknowledge the AGENDA for society that incels espouse: rolling back women’s rights, redistributing “females” so they can’t choose their own partners, creating gulags for women and men they don’t like, justifying rape and violence against women because it’s what they deserve. And that’s before they even bring up race and pedophilia. Naama also seems to think that because only a minority of incels escalate to mass shootings and killing sprees, they are largely not harming anyone. She also dismisses the fact that incels will brag about shouting insults, sexually harassing and assaulting women in their lives and in public as mostly fantasies made up for clout. Ok, even if that were true, why should we have sympathy for people who indulge in these fantasies? And is normalizing and encouraging these acts not harmful to society and the rehabilitation of these young men? And what about the fact that these men live and work among us while harboring these violent and misogynistic resentments and fantasies? What is it like to have one of these men as your coworker, boss, neighbor, relative, etc IRL? I believe that Naama has lost objectivity in no small part because she doesn’t actually have to be in the same room with these men and often doesn’t even video call them. She can entertain their ideas and personal narratives without having to feel any of the unease and fear women experience when they interact with men who make them feel unsafe and dehumanized. I have to say on a personal level that listening to these incels talk about their world view was a horrifying experience that made me more afraid for women’s place in society now and in the future, not less. So Naama if you are listening just ask yourself, when was the last time you actually spoke to a woman on this podcast? When was the last time there was any level setting or even debate on any of the topics you platform? Also, stop giggling when your guests say something outrageous. Its unprofessional.

for being curious, extending grace, and asking questions i would be scared to ask, to people i would be afraid to engage with.

We need more people like this. Society really can wash the common consensus into a single direction and those that get stuck in the side are battered. Empathy is a powerful thing. I love how she talks to these people. We’re all taught to treat people how we would want to be treated but that erodes for a lot of people. We’re all human and we would do better to remember that. Thank you Naama. You absolutely deserve 5/5 stars. I can’t stop listening to this and know you are making a positive change in these people’s lives.

I was excited when I found this podcast, but the host uses the excuse of “empathy” and “objectivity” to avoid any real, inspired questioning of any of her guests. And I don’t mean that I want her to come at her guests with any form of aggression or try to prove them wrong. She regularly seems unprepared and void of any real thoughts to bring to the table during her interviews. I do want to hear the perspective of this marginalized group but I don’t think the host is accomplishing this profound place of understanding that she thinks she is with this podcast. Naama - you have so many reviews asking you to ask real questions and when you read those reviews you laugh at them and defensively say you do ask good questions. Not great self reflection and quite dismissive of a number of people here telling you that they have genuine interest in the subject. We just want you to do better. Dig more. Help us get to a deeper level of understanding.

I have listened to this podcast for years because I find the topic compelling. Unfortunately Naama’s pattern of ascribing negative motives to certain groups while giving undue sympathy to incels undermined the podcast's credibility and hindered the exploration of complex social issues. Her defensiveness became increasingly evident, particularly when her interview style and conclusions were criticized. While constructive feedback is a valuable opportunity for growth and self-reflection, Naama appeared to interpret it as an attack, reinforcing her defensive posture.

A woman doing an INCEL podcast….that’s like a man doing a childbirth podcast. This is about as dumb as it could be.

Fantastic (and not at all unhinged) review, Kandyst4r! With just 3 words - “Stay mad, feminists” - you sure owned us! Literally, not one single person is angry about this podcast. The quality just isn’t at the level to elicit any sort of strong emotional response. Sorry that wasn’t as obvious to you as it is to the rest of us. Good effort, i guess. At any rate, I initially found this podcast to be informative, and was eager to learn more about this subculture. It soon became evident, though, that the host was beginning to lose her objectivity. I also preferred the earlier episodes where the focus wasn’t so much on one outlier. It could’ve really been fantastic, but it just got strange. At least you still have Kandyst4r making it rain stars.

So poorly done

I am grateful to Naama for seeking to understand incels rather than just accepting the false mainstream narrative that we are majority hateful scary people. I and I suspect many other incels hold no hate in our hearts at all.

Stay mad, feminists

i learned about this from Mary Gaitskill’s interview with the host and i’m listening from the beginning. i’m finding it enlightening to hear about this community from its members. seems to me like the pain and isolation from these folks, at least in part, arises from being unheard and dismissed. i’m here for the non-judgmental curiosity and compassion

I’m not an incel myself but was always curious about it. I like hearing peoples story’s and what they struggle with and I can understand it. I don’t understand a lot of the negative reviews though. I think it’s worth a listen

Horrible podcast. I felt that the guests were all made up to keep this podcast alive with the same guests appearing but with different names and made up accents, very unprofessional. I felt nama was reaching in this project and I really do feel as if she needs help as a femcel, I mean who has that type of time? Am I right? Pretty entertaining in my view keep up the good work though this entertains me.

I was open to hearing the perspectives of the community, as a woman I was curious and hopeful that it wouldn’t be as bad as media portrayals. And Naama is right, they do have some valid points re: a lookist society. At first I thought Naama was remaining objective as not to alienate the community, but after a certain point, it crosses a hard line. She defends and excuses their violent speech and behavior towards women. She gives them a platform for straight up misogyny and I’ve NEVER heard her push back once. Even on violence and assault. Our lives and physical safety are more important than dating, sex, and relationships, and I’m horrified at how Naama has no qualms with this community’s profound hatred of women that leads to our abuse and murder. Journalistic ethics are nowhere to be found in this podcast. Skip it, it’s sick.

All data considered, this is a great analysis of a badly understood and an emphatically challenged cultural phenomena. I wish that Naama would stop “interrupting” the guests with unnecessary affirmations, like “mmhmm,” “right,” “yeah.” With the modern communications like zoom and other internet based voice-over softwares, it tends to cut out and stunt the speaker’s audio, if not outright interrupting their train of thought. Episode 13 was almost unlistenable at points. Keep up the great work.

I’ve been enlightened and feel more compassion for those I had not previously considered deserving. Thank for helping to love more broadly.

I first discovered incel community about 6 months ago and have become incredibly enthralled with the culture, and also with how they are represented in the media and research. I’m so impressed with this podcast. I really appreciate Naama’s ability to let people speak and explain their perspectives, and her ability to “let them be human, because they are human.” I respect all the openness, growth and effort that it has taken to partake in all of these interviews. It cannot be easy in any way. I want to create my own channel where I speak to incels with a largely similar initial interest and perspective of how these people are seen. This podcast has really helped me prepare, I’ve learned so much by only episode 10. Thank you!

The podcast is thought provoking and challenging. It gives some insight into a world that is hidden to us, “normies” - I love that word. Kates approaches it with compassion and allows Incels to talk about their perspective without the usual indignation or pity that is so easy to subscribe to when listening to someone different than us. Once you put all of those negative responses aside and listen to the human speaking, it is notthat hard to understand each other. I am glad to see someone trying to build a bridge. I am listening to it in order from oldest to newest, and there are still a lot of episodes I need to listen to catch it all up. So perhaps it’s not fair - however, I would love to see guests that are also explaining this side of the world to incels - why some women behave how they do with that same compassion and understanding. Right now they only have the ‘black pill’ but no one is diving deeper on the why. Bottom line is… however you present yourself to the word, we are all just afraid. Awesome work.

Terrible commendation. Paused are awkward and uncomfortable. Your heavy breath sounds and moans are annoying. Also, for future listeners, Please cut the baby sounds out of the background if you want to be serious about this topic.

Why is the host discussing “capital T” trauma like she’s an expert? I am really bothered by it given she’s a reporter? Stay in your lane, good god.

Thank you for diving head first into this controversial subject, and fearlessly at that. I have been fascinated by incels for a few years now, and your pod inspired my thesis for grad school, which I recently submitted. Thank you, Naama, for bringing light to this topic and for being so candid.

I’m only in the first ten episodes of the first season, but I’m fascinated. PS - Please change the batteries in your smoke detector

If you at all curious about this subculture, or internet subcultures in general, then this podcast is worth your time. I can’t say that my overall view of incels has shifted significantly, but I at least can say that I understand them a bit more now. Thanks and please keep it up!

Just wanted to drop by and say that I really do love this pod. I am not an Incel myself ( after listening to this I now know that for certain ), but I do find some of these guests to have similar issues to me in the not so distant past. I actually started listening because I thought I was one and instantly got hooked into the lore behind it all. Great job! And keep up the good work!

I’d love for you to take on feminists in this way.

It provides varying perspectives in a raw yet validating setting. Quite insightful, educational, and nonjudgmental.

I really love this podcast. I think this is the only podcast I have religiously listened to every episode. I get so excited when I see a new one pop up. Naama’s journey has been incredible, and this podcast sheds light on issues I used to dismiss. I have a greater understanding of a group of people I used to hate because I was told to. The work she is doing is important. Thank you, Naama. Keep making this podcast.

I think this show is a great way to get insight into how people think and the issues we face

Enlightening conversations on a pertinent topic! For me, this podcast really reframed incels as traumatized and entitled instead of militant. The show itself could benefit from editing the interviews. There is some rambling, that though therapeutic and important to talk about, could be left out in the final draft.

Naama Kates is obviously intelligent, but her desire to exercise compassion comes at a desperate cost. The problems these people face matter, but giving cover to a radicalizing machine is not only dangerous, it’s a sign that Kates is profoundly incompetent.

Very nicely done

What could be an insightful look at a community many people know little about, this podcast fails completely because the host lacks the intellectual horsepower to challenge her guests on the most basic of topics. Essentially an incel and men’s rights activists PR podcast, the host utterly fails to recognize how dangerous and irresponsible this platform could be. A truly disappointing and frustrating listen.

What started as a neutral education one which I appreciate diving into has just become a pat on the head for all the guys struggling out there. I understand in this in group the tunnel vision but I think the series is circling the drain on the topic and hasn’t really progressed. I learned as much as I care at this point and I worry this supports an unhealthy culture. I don’t think it’s healthy to believe a single monotonous longterm relationship is the path to self actualization. There’s many of the same conversations on this general idea that women have reached equality which allows them to deny more men and “compete for the same jobs” which has created this underclass. The acknowledgement of the actions of men in ancient history being given and stealing women it’s almost left in the air to interpret as you will. They will state they don’t think men deserve women while also saying longterm romantic relationships are key to happiness. I don’t feel like this topic is in very good hands it’s a decent at catching you up but at this point it’s validating too much of the community for my taste. On top of all this the host has been against policies to reduce the spread of Covid and has contacted it herself. I feel like that’s a huge red flag.

I came for the curiosity and stayed for the education. Thank you for this very thoughtful insight into a very difficult lifestyle. **Update** I’ve been a loyal listener, but I’m NOT interested in the pontification of the scholarly Non-Incel. If this does not change I will quit the podcast. My interest lies w getting to know the individuals w the actual Incel experience, to further my understanding/education. ***Update*** I’ve tried to continue. I am quitting as I’ve previously stated that my interest is w the real life experiences of those in this community. There is little to no content regarding that.

A meandering, aimless unofficial PR front for the most radical incel forum known to me. The podcast can't keep it's narratives straight. It says that incels aren't a threat and yet regularly brings CVE people on. It says that incels aren't radicals but brings on most of the radical possible incels they can find. The podcast seems like less 'exploring the concept of involuntary celibacy', and more like trying to bolster a 'countering-extremism career' for the host elsewhere, due to hyperfocusing on radicals while the host births projects elsewhere. The title of the podcast itself is also bit weird as it seems like an attempt to monopolize the subject. Don't get me wrong, I understand where she is coming from on many angles and this podcast must be difficult to do, but cuddling up this much to radicals and giving them all they need to disguise themselves as mainstream is doing no one any favors, especially when the podcast hardly discusses involuntary celibacy as a concept. While its cool to have unedited interveiws, there seems to be no attempt to create a balanced podcast, either in terms of subject viewpoints, forums, and events, and instead spends all its time in the most extreme possible corners. It doesn't even pick the most popular incel forum to focus on, which is incelswithouthate. I've been on incel forums a few times and there is a big gap btw this podcast and the ones she focuses on. Giving more than 1-star because she is a good interviewer and appears to have gone through the mud unfairly about certain things. While it may have had gallant intentions to bridge the mainstream-incel divide or give more sympathy to those who are unlucky in love... the podcast finds itself bogged down in an inability to handle criticism while simultaneously and in a neverending fashion, trying to whitewash and hyperfocus on the most radical incel forum.

This is an uncomfortable listen for me. I think it is a good idea to listen to things that make us uncomfortable. I love the way Naama Kates listens. We could all learn to listen more instead of pushing back against uncomfortable subjects. I'm a mom. I need to see people who I don't understand as someone's child. This podcasts helps me listen better.

I appreciate the improvements in this podcast since its inception. It has been enlightening, at times infuriating, but always compassionate.

This show started out really strong, but has sadly lost its way. Now it’s all about agreeing with everything incels say and reaffirming that it’s not their fault—it’s everyone else’s. As someone with a background in psychology, I find this an alarming and irresponsible approach to interviewing people who are clearly mentally ill, and by their own admission, potentially dangerous. I don’t know when exactly that shift occurred, but it seems here to stay, and I find that very unsettling.

This podcast has changed me and Naama is an amazing hostess. I look forward to every spiritually challenging episode. Thank you!

This is a shame. Incels or recovering incels need compassion and understanding. Then we have this misogynistic, disgruntled writer, whose book Neema recommends, who spews alt-right anti-feminist rhetoric in which men are victims....of women who feel consent is necessary?! Or women who stand up to the patriarchy, thusly making men victims?! Unbelievable she’d give this guy a platform. I just can’t anymore. And it’s a real shame because I think the Incel story needs to be told, but apparently not by her.

I liked learning about the incel community. It was uncomfortable to hear at times. It was also intensely irritating to hear the hostess not question the guests very much about their views, and seem to have dismissive attitudes toward feminism. Yet, I don't see any other podcast covering this material. More context needs to be given. A feminist take on the issue would be important to clear up the strawmen that tend to be handed out, and a better job connecting the incel movement with other movements that are related conceptually with the so-called manosphere, including the pick-up artist community, and mens rights activism. Despite liking the show, it did infuriate me that nothing was said about how a lot of these guys seem to feel like they will forever be deprived if they aren't able to have meaningless casual sex. From what I've learned on the show, Chad's aren't normal people "normies". They are people who can easily get no strings attached sex. Well, most people have to at least work on some part of a relationship or have something going for them in order to have sex, and that's just not addressed by this. The idea that there is some kind of ultimate ruler by which people's attractiveness can be measured seems to be fully and absolutely accepted by many on the show, and I just don't buy it.

So here is my biggest issue, define the terms you are talking about! There is never once that I feel you ever define even term incel, then you start talking about chad’s, Stacey’s and pills of different colors and never once do you explain these terms. Maybe a definition episode is needed??? Overall I like this show I just feel like if you are only aware of the word incel you aren’t going to learn anything more about what this means and the terms used in the subculture from this show. Such a downfall... I will keep listening in hopes you actually do have an episode that defines terms.

I’ve been listening to this since the beginning in hopes that it would turn into something that had some kind of analysis or even a point. However the host, this far in, is just a platform for various people, some sympathetic, others reprehensible. I think she’s trying to be an edgelord, and her new project, the first show of which includes Andy Ngo, proves it. It’s unclear to me if she actually has views that align with the “alt right” or just believes that somehow by being an unfiltered platform she’s encouraging dialogue? To like this show is to believe that there is such a condition of being that is Incel, rather than simply a group of men who have trouble finding romantic partners and have created a self-fulfilling subculture around that, likely temporary, state.

I thought this was a true crime podcast. Instead it’s some woman standing up for a bunch of violent racist.

These last two weeks, I feel the project getting more hopeful and energized, as Naama seems to be getting energized by her guests. @GeerhardusBoss (?) and Mrs. - you both “represent” Christian Doctrine and theology very well. I’m all about the laughter and obvious joy in this young man and woman. Let unhappy people judge if they must. #GodPilled. Love tears down Identity Politics... #Word

Love your technique non judgmental active listening!! Your NOT sympathizing, not advocating, not promoting, no pouring gas on the fire!!! Your just being open minded caring and kind human being!! I’m recovery coach and counselor and I agree being an open to listening them, making people feel validated in non judgmental way can save lives Not take them!! As I’m trueing this you just compared treatment and addicts to Incel. Meant to be review ! Doing great job.

Fantastic overall. I listened to every episode over the course of two days at work and she has a great voice and just lets people talk without arguing. V informative and breaks down a lot of misconceptions. The interviews are long and mostly unedited which is a breath of fresh air from clip bait journalism.

Excellent find! We came across your show on Twitter and decided to give it a listen - very glad we did! The host a joy to listen to - the topics are unique, interesting, and bingeworthy. Keep up the great work - cannot wait to listen to more content <3 Yergy & Drewby

OK, I’m trying very hard to give this podcast the benefit of the doubt, but I guess I have one major question. If I go along with the premise of the podcast, that incels are just misunderstood and really just need our sympathy and understanding, What can I DO to help? What can I DO for the incel community to keep them from acts of violence and racism or misogyny? For context: what I AM is, -38 years old -happily married to an amazing wife for the last 12 years -fat -ugly -On the spectrum What I’m NOT: -rich (I work in a factory, I make a comfortable living, but I and my wife have worked hard for what we have together) -a “Chad”

I love some aspects of the project. I like hearing from actual people in the community sharing a perspective that I may not have considered if all I hear from are people who hate incels. Compassion is important, but compassion does not mean being uncritical. Few of the conversations feel like a conversation, they feel like the host just nodding and agreeing to in some cases really violent views. When one person talks about a violent uprising they are later called reasonable by the host. You can be compassionate while also being critical. She at one point even mentions studies that support black pill mindset, but doesn’t mention that only a few of the ones posted have any sort of reasonable sample size or unbiased research question (or uncompromised research entity for that matter). Overall disappointing.